Weighed Down By My Defences

Matthew 9:9-13  2 Cor 4:1-6

The last time I played in a proper cricket match, everyone insisted that I go out to bat properly protected. With a helmet on my head, big pads on my legs, a guard on my arm,  gloves on my hands  and a box – you know where – I waddled out to the middle to start my innings.

 I managed to hit the first ball I received fairly well and set off for what seemed like an easy run. But I just couldn’t get myself going because with all that padding I could hardly run – let alone sprint for the crease.  I tried to charge down the wicket to the non striker’s end, almost tripped up and was run out by the fielder. “Run Out 0” and a golden duck too, – what a sorry end to a modest career!

 If only they had not insisted on all that padding and protection – if only I could have felt freer – I’m sure I would have made it.

St Matthew strikes me as a well padded up individual, someone who took all the precautions necessary to ensure that he did not get hurt. Someone – hell bent on protecting all that he had.

 For he was a man of wealth. A man of status. A man who had contacts in life. A man who enjoyed his creature comforts and he was not going to give that up any of that for anyone. So he sat all day behind his tax booth and probably charged everyone over the odds. No one was going to break through into his life – he had too much to lose.

 Then along came Jesus and Jesus did what no one else could possibly have done. He got through Matthew’s defences and touched his heart – to such an extent that, in an instant, he laid aside all that security – and followed Jesus – running freely, and gracefully  for maybe the first time in his life.

What was it that caused Matthew to leave it all behind? For he was not an individual who would do anything he didn’t want to do!

 He must have heard about the things Jesus had been doing. The way he met them in their working lives and questioned who was really in charge.

Right in that same chapter of this Gospel, Jesus does this with fishermen and farmers alike.

 The fishermen who thought they knew everything there was to know about the high seas find themselves stranded in a storm – they have no defences left. Jesus comes and shows his dominance over the natural powers of wind and wave, so that all they can do is marvel and then follow.

He goes to the land of the Gadarenes and deals with the demonic possession of a man named Legion and the evil spirits run into the herd of pigs in that place, threatening the livelihood of the herdsmen who live there. They beg him to leave – because his presence was such a threat to their economic security.

So now Matthew sees Jesus coming towards the tax booth and shudders. He  knows that his life is about to be turned over too. But Jesus does not judge the man, he does not rebuke him for the hard hearted way he had gone about his trade – I think he regards Matthew with love – a look that man would not have been used to seeing – he loves him and out of that love – calls him to follow, gets him to see at once the futility of his padded up life – and he just goes.

I wonder what things you would say are important to you? Things that you would never wish to part from at any cost? Now there are precious and valuable things and  dearly loved people who God knows are as jewels for us, but there are things about us that are little more than a defence to not getting too involved. Reasons to keep God away.  Things that far from giving us life, cause us to stumble and fall, disable us so that we cannot run freely, and Jesus sees to the heart of these defences and by His Spirit he seeks to breach them.

Paul writing to the Church in Corinth says that the god of this world has blinded unbelievers to the truth about themselves and that our task is to let the light of Christ shine so that people can see the truth and become free from all that holds them shackled – and run with the grace and freedom of children of God.

We cannot play our parts in the removal of this blindness unless we first recognise such needs in ourselves. We cannot point to the futility of life at the Tax Booth when we cower behind other defences of our own making.

Matthew had the faith to move out from behind it all because of the loving way Jesus issued his sudden challenge. If we are assured of his love, we too may set aside the unnecessary padding of our lives – cast it to the ground – and run to the Lord, sprinting freely in the footsteps our patron saint has left for us to walk in.

RH 20.9.09